Holy Week

The world calls this Holy Week and it causes all to be aware and on watch of what Christians are doing. I really want my life to be Holy Life but fail miserably, just miserably. Many friends told me that when I had kids and felt the love of a parent I would then have a mere glimpse of the Father's love for me. I think I know what they were talking about now. We can never truly grasp the absolute depth of God's love for us... I know how much I love my boys. I love them from a depth inside of me that causes tears to fill my eyes when I think of this sweet love we share. And how I would just do anything to keep them safe and warm and fed and happy and loved and liked... And last night I felt so loved from my little boy that I just thank God for the moment we had for Him to remind me that's how He feels about me too.
Banks is having some type of allergic reaction and for two mornings his eyes have been so swollen.. not with matter and swollen shut but his eyelids are so puffy. The first night this started he wanted me to lay in bed with him and hold a wet cloth over his eyes. I did just that. I'd move to reposition myself or the rag and he'd just grab my hand and keep it tight to his face and he say "Stay wiff me mommy, keep your hand right there" I was just so in the sweet element of mommy loving and it felt so perfect to be loved.
So, that's how God loves me. He loves me. He knows me and loves me and I've done nothing to deserve it. Banks loves me because I'm his mommy and I take care of him and he doesn't know any better but God chooses to love me because through the blood of Jesus I am beautiful and loveable.
So I beg, "Stay wiff me Jesus, keep Your hand right here."